By what
measure do we define Happiness?
Success?
Contentment?
How do these
differ between Western and Eastern cultures? How intertwined are these
emotions? These perceptions.
What is their
worth?
These were
some of the questions pondered and debated in a discussion today between myself
and my work colleague Shents. Even though Shents is English I like him a lot.
He is both a gentleman and a gentle man and I consider him a mate. He has been
around the block has Shents. He has lived and worked before in Tokyo and
Melbourne. Like me he now lives in Singapore. Shents is insightful and he is
smart. I value his opinion and I admire him. There is respect. I enjoy our
dialogue.
I like our
banter.
We agreed that
we shouldn't generalize - however the Singaporean standard for the measurement
of success seems to differ from our view point. Education to the Singaporeans
is very important. The formal kind. Not life experiences. The Singaporean takes
life very seriously. Failure is not an option. This seems to be a focus from a
very early age. It is a heavy burden. There is a lot of pressure. Especially on
children. It is not necessarily a bad thing.
It is just
different from ours.
So is success
linked to happiness? I didn't think so and neither did Shents. We both know a
lot of successful people who aren't happy. They aren't happy at all. Conversely
I know quite a few people who are very happy but they aren't particularly
successful. At least not by the standards that society sets. Position.
Affluence. Money. I suspect that these people are however the most successful
of us all.
These
impoverished people.
And what is
the measure of success? Is it the size of one's bank account? The value of our
net worth? Is it the title on our business cards? Is it the esteem with which
they are regarded by others? Or is it the way they regard themselves? Is it all
of the above or none of the above? My view of this has changed as I have aged.
I once believed
that other people's perception of me was important. I was genuinely unhappy if
people thought poorly of me. It doesn't matter so much to me anymore. It is
passé. It is com si com sa. What I
think of myself carries more weight. It sets my moral compass. I value my
values more than other peoples regard. I am not saying that I am happy all the
time.
Far from it.
I am perfectly
imperfect and I don't disregard the supposition of others.
It just
doesn't drive me anymore.
It is the
simple things now that bring me happiness and contentment. Sharing moments with
friends and family. Laughter. Giving. Receiving. Sharing. Reminiscing.
Introspection. Virtuosity. Rising to an occasion. Reaching a goal. I equate
fulfillment with happiness.
I am sure that
this will change again.
This
perception of mine.