I have a Bank
bicycle. My very own. I have had it for a while now. If you are English or have
been to London you will know what I am talking about. They are everywhere in
London. The Bank jumped onto this bicycle hire scheme about three years ago and
there are thousands of Bank bicycles all over London. Commuters and tourists
can hire one by slipping a pound coin into a slot at most of the tube stations
in the City or by using a credit card.
The bikes are
quite heavy and clunky but they have three gears and the Bank's brand is all
over them. It is emblazoned in bright blue. They are used by people to commute
from one station to another and they are picked up and dropped off at docking
stations. I have ridden them before in London. The scheme is very popular and it
is very successful.
I had an idea
that this might be a good idea here in Singapore so I reached out to my
colleagues in Head Office. To the English. I discovered that we don't actually
own these bicycles but we pay a shit load of money to a Company called Serco. We
pay for naming rights but we do not actually own the bicycles. Serco run the
scheme for us. I say 'we' because I work for the Bank. In Singapore.
Yes I work for
the English and I work for a Bank. Life is quite often not what we intended it
to be.
Serco run a
number of bicycle schemes around the world and they also build roads and operate
super highways. In Australia Serco actually run most of the prisons. Australia
has privatized their penal system. They have outsourced it to the English.
Ironic huh? They used to ship their own criminals out there a couple of hundred
years ago. It was how my nation was established.
So the Bank
dude referred me to the Serco dude who is the guy that runs the Bank's bicycle
scheme. I rang him up and I said 'gidday'
for this is the Australian way. I told him that I was interested in looking at
getting the Bank's bicycle scheme over here in Singapore. I told him that I was
looking at the possibility and could he
give me some more details. He told me that he could. He also told me that he
was going to Tokyo in a couple of weeks and he could drop in on Singapore on
his way back to England if I wanted - to talk about the scheme. He asked me if
that would be OK and I said, "no
worries'. I told him that would be good. I set up a couple of
meetings with some of the Singapore Government boys from the Parks and Lands
Department. They were very interested in setting up a public bicycle scheme with
the Bank.
The Serco dude
rang me a couple of days before he was due to arrive in Singapore to confirm
the meetings. I told him that they were all set up. He asked me then if I would
like a bike to be sent over to
Singapore. I told him that I would. So he did. Send one over. Apparently to
receive a bicycle in Singapore one needs an import document. This is for some
sort of strange customs or tax reason. It had to specify an owner and the owner
was me. So the bicycle is mine. I have a paper to prove this. It is a
certificate of import. It is a document of ownership.
So I met with
the Serco dude and I showed him around. I took him down to the East Coast Park
- where I thought the scheme would be best located. There are miles and miles
of bicycle paths down there. They wind their way through beautiful gardens. It
is flat land and is on the coast so there is often a nice ocean breeze. He agreed
it would be perfect for bicycling. We then met with the Government guys and
showed them the bike. Mr. Serco did a very nice presentation. I can't recall
the exact reason the matter didn't progress but I do remember feeling a little
disappointed. I think so too were the Serco people.
However I got
to keep the bicycle.
I decided to
raffle it off at the beginning of last year to raise money for a little charity
that I am involved with. We got tickets printed up and managed to convince a
local resort to also donate a weekend at their establishment. For a couple.
Including all meals and a spa. This was to be the second prize. We sold tickets
for $2 a pop and I was shocked at how many tickets we sold. More than 2000 from
memory. Who would have thought that so many people wanted their own Bank
bicycle?
The raffle was
drawn at the annual Bank Family Day picnic which was held on Sentosa Island. I
was there for the draw and was handed the winning ticket holders name and
contact details. I rang him on Monday. He was a very Senior guy in the Bank. He
was a Managing Director. I recall him being quite excited that he had won the
prize. He told me that he had bought many tickets in our raffle but he had
never won anything ever before. I congratulated and thanked him and explained
that the funds we raised from the raffle were being used to build schools in
remote parts of Nepal. I told him that if he was a really good bloke he would
donate the bike back to my charity. To his great credit he didn't hesitate and
he donated it back straight away.
So I have been
holding on to the bike for a while now. I plan to raffle it off again to raise
more money for my charity. I might do the raffle in Hong Kong this time or
perhaps Tokyo. We have lots of staff in both of those cities. In the meantime I
keep the Bank bike at my little house. On the verandah. I ride it a lot. I ride
it pretty much every day.
I ride the
bike most often over to Starbucks where I get myself a beverage. I park the
Bank bike outside and sit down and drink my coffee. Occasionally I drink a
green tea and sometimes an iced chocolate. Hold the whipped cream. The Bank
bike is often surrounded by overseas tourists when I re-emerge from Starbucks
with my beverage. Japanese and Korean visitors like to take photos of it. I
don't mind and I am sure that the Bank doesn't mind either.
It is free
publicity.
Quite
frequently English tourists will approach me and ask me if the Bank's bicycle
scheme is also here in Singapore. Very occasionally I tell them that it is. If
I am in a playful mood and just for the crack. I enjoy winding up the English.
When they ask me where they can hire one I tell them to go down to Clarke Quay
and walk up and down all the back alleys. I tell them that the Bank bicycle
place is not very easy to find so they should look very hard and they should
ask around. It gives me a small sense of perverse pleasure to imagine these
sweaty English tourists tramping up and down this crowded tourist destination
looking for a Bank bicycle.
It's a bit
cruel I know but I only do it to the English.
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