It is another
Saturday night in Singapore and I am steeling myself. Unusually I have a wealth
of social options available to me tonight. The Russians are gathering as are
the Irish and the English. I have been invited to all three soirees and I have
opted for the Russians - who I will then converge with the Irish. I have
disregarded the English. Whilst I have quite a few English mates here in
Singapore, I work with them day in and day out and heir pomposity and whining
and moaning annoys me. I barely tolerate the majority of them.
Many are
Fuckers.
I have been
friends with the Russians for quite some time now and I met this particular group
through my friend Natalia who has since gone home to Saint Petersburg.
I miss her a lot.
I miss her a lot.
Saint Petersburg was
once known as Petrogard before the Soviet Communist regime renamed it
Leningrad - in 1924. The city reverted to Saint Petersburg in 1991. This was post
Perestroika. It is by far the most beautiful city in all of Russia. The
architecture is stunning. The Hermitage puts the Louvre to shame. It is an uber
museum and art gallery and is the home to some of the greatest works of art
ever created. It is enormous and you can get lost in there for weeks. It would
be wonderful to get lost in there.
It would be
heaven on a stick.
Most of this
Russian group of friends that I have are females - they are chicks. They are
artists and gallery owners and fashion models. The girls are much younger than
me and they are all very tall and beautiful and glamorous. They are the
opposite of me really. They are hot.
I am
not.
For some weird
reason they have adopted me and I have been accepted into their fold. I am
their pet Australian old guy and I don't really know why. The Russians invite
me to a lot of functions around town and I go to quite a few - well some anyway.
I haven't been out with them for a while though so it will be nice to catch up.
I noticed a
while back that all these girls first names end in the letter 'a'. Their
surnames are mostly unpronounceable. There is Natalia, Alisa, Olga, Tatiana,
Alina, Ekatrina and Anastasia and there are a few others as well but I can't
remember their names. When I made this observation Tatiana informed me that
every girl's first name in Russia ends with the letter 'a'. There is one
exception apparently but I can't recall offhand what this is either.
My memory is
fading as I age.
Some of these
girls change the last letter of their first name to 'e' when they come to Singapore.
So Alina is now Aline, Alisa is now Alise, and Ekatrina is Kate. When I asked
them why they do this they just shrug their shoulders and pout. The Russians do
this a lot - shrug and pout.
I quite like
it.
When I hang
out with these Russians I find myself shrugging and pouting as well and I also find
myself saying 'vot' instead of what and 'nyet' instead of 'no'.
I wave my hands around too - it is involuntary and I just slip into it. They call me 'darlink' and
Pyotr. This is my name in Russian.
Pyotr.
Not 'darlink'.
The Russians
are very dramatic and moody individuals and they are loud and brash and crazy.
The Russians are very emotional and arrogant and they wear their hearts on
their sleeves. There seems to be a lot of drama and gossip and scandal in the
life of these Russians and I like it very much when they start swearing at each
other in their native tongue.
They swear at
other people as well.
When we are
out they always start off drinking champagne and switch very quickly to vodka.
They drink it neat and they guzzle it down. They rarely seem to eat and they
all smoke too. When we go out there are generally a lot of European guys
hovering around. These guys often try and start up conversations with the
Russian girls. They try and chat them up. It is hysterical to see how the
Russians flick them off. They are brutal. I sit back and observe it all unfold.
I watch giant and handsome young men slink off with their tails between their
legs as these Russians mercilessly cast them off.
They say 'poshol nahuj' which is Russian for 'fuck off'.
Classic.
I mentioned to
the Russians that there is also a gathering of the Irish this evening and that
these Irish are mostly blokes. I told the Russians that the Irish are gobby and
loud and full of bullshit but I like them a lot. I told them this because it is
true. The Irish are good friends of mine and like the Russians they are hard
core drinking machines.
I think that the
convergence will be interesting and it will most definitely be highly entertaining. The Irish
are very keen to hook up. The Russians are quite nonchalant but they have
agreed to converge.
Both groups
have long since given up trying to get me to drink at their frenetic pace or
indeed to get me to drink at all. Despite me being an Australian they accept
that I am not much of a drinker. I could not possibly keep up with them anyway,
even if I wanted to.
Which I don't.
I will likely
issue some sort of drinking challenge between these two groups at some point of
the evening. I will suggest to the Russians that the Irish are the superior
drinkers whilst telling the Irish that the Russians girls can drink them under
the table. I will wind them both up and then I will watch the carnage unfold.
It will be
very funny.
When I have
witnessed enough mayhem to amuse me I will quietly slink off home to my bed. I
don't stay up very late anymore so this will likely be before midnight. I will
otherwise probably turn into a pumpkin.
I
have a busy day tomorrow and I have no desire to turn into a pumpkin.
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