So here I am
in Hong Kong again for work. The mainland Chinese must hate this place with a
vengeance. They are sending all their filthy air over here and I am choking
and wheezing and gasping. It
is an asthmatic atrocity.
My Office is
in the Central district of Hong Kong and I am staying in one of my favorite
hotels. The Island Shangri La. I refer to it as the Shang. This is probably an
Australian thing for we like abbreviations. It is a very pleasant walk from the
Shang to my office and I enjoy meandering through the Hong Kong park - past the
little lake and then along a series of covered walkways. It only takes 10
minutes or so and I like to pause and watch the locals do their morning Tai
Chi.
Tai Chi is
like slow motion Kung Fu but without the body contact. It is quite beautiful to
watch because it is graceful. I have been informed by people in the know that it
is as much for the mind as the body. I once asked a Tai Chi dude whether he
could speed it up if he needed to. I enquired whether he could actually use Tai
Chi as a weapon. He didn't answer the question directly - he merely smiled at me and gave me a
knowing look to suggest that he likely could.
Speed it
up.
I got the
distinct impression that he could chop me up and kill me dead if he wanted to
using Tai Chi.
The Hong Kong
taxi drivers are lunatics. All of them. They drive like there is no tomorrow.
In Singapore when a taxi driver is going too fast I tell them to slow down and without
fail they do. Here in Hong Kong when I tell them to slow down they just grin at
me and go even faster. They seem to enjoy my terror.
I went to a
lunch today with a few old mates for a pre Chinese New Year feed. We ate Lo
Hei. This is sort of a salad made up of long strips of raw fish and raw
vegetables. It is mixed with a spicy sauce. It was delicious. It was spanking.
Lo Hei is a Cantonese word that literally means 'raw fish'. It's Chinese
counterpart is Yusheng. Both mean raw fish but they also symbolize prosperity. The
connection between raw fish and prosperity seems very obscure so I have no idea
why. I do not have a clue.
In Singapore,
the Chinese New Year is often celebrated by the 'tossing of the the noodles'. For
this bizarre event friends gather around a table where there is a very big bowl
of noodles in the middle and they collectively use chopsticks to hurl the
noodles in the air. I have participated in this before and it is very messy. Apparently
the higher the noodles are thrown then the greater one's luck will be. I have
hit the roof before with my throws but I have yet to notice any increase in my
luck.
I believe that
we make our own luck in this world and it has fuck all to do with noodles.
I am back now
at the Shang for I have finished my work for the day. I stay here in Hong Kong
and at the Shang quite a bit so they usually put me up in a suite. It is
beautiful and spacious and I have a great view over the Hong Kong harbor. In my
opinion it is the second greatest harbor in the world. After Sydney of course.
When the
housekeeping staff turn down my bed here each evening they leave beautiful
little book marks with quotes from the book the Lost Horizon on them. These
bookmarks have little tassels on them. I mentioned yesterday to one of the hotel
housekeepers how much I liked these bookmarks and when I got back to my room
tonight I found more than a dozen on my bed. I thought that such an act was
very kind and considerate of her.
I also like
the L'Occitane products that they use in the Shang. The soaps and shampoos are
divine and so too are the towels. They are very soft and they are very fluffy.
So too is the toilet paper actually. It is triple ply. I don't understand why
the end of the toilet rolls are folded into little triangles though. It is one
of life's little mysteries.
My suite is
also equipped with a Japanese toilet. The seat is pleasantly warmed and the lid
raises automatically when I walk towards it and it closes when I walk away. It
has a sensor so it is a smart toilet. There are also a series of buttons that
are not only used for flushing but they also have the capability of firing jets
of warm water that is deodorized.
The water jets
are fired straight up the clacker.
This is a
standard in Japan and I have encountered them before in Tokyo and Osaka. There
are three options available for the jet firing and these are Low, Medium or
High. I have tried this once before in the Grand Hyatt hotel in Tokyo. I
rather recklessly opted for the High setting and was shocked by the power of
the water.
It lifted me
off the seat and it was not at all pleasant. It was like a jet-fired
enema.
I will never
do it again.
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