When children become adults
they are still your children. This realization that your kids have all grown up
is a strange and unsettling phenomena. It is an awakening that takes some
getting used to.
There are emotional conflicts
with this realisation and they are big ones. There is a sense of pride but
there is also a sense of loss as well.
It is as deep as it is
profound.
Hope resides there along with
Fear. They sit side by side in ravaging and conflicting emotions.
They tear at me now.
It is a tough and sometimes
dangerous world out there that has wars and bombs and earthquakes and tsunamis.
So there is worry and there is pain. There is always worry and pain in
parenting – however there is great joy as well.
There is more joy than
anything else.
Much more.
However there is some sense
of acceptance in this realisation as well. It is nestled in amongst all this
mix of emotions.
There is reflection as well.
We have all been at this
juncture - this becoming an Adult.
It is a Great moment. It is a
Big moment.
Even now in my ancient and
decrepit state I remember all too well what it was like to feel this
all-grown-up emotion when I was my children's age. It was a time of freedom and
confidence and greatness.
It was a time of
invincibility.
It was Special.
The need to protect your
child does not diminish when they become adults - it doesn’t diminish at all.
It is instinctive I think to protect them.
At any Cost.
At all Cost.
However there is a letting go
of sorts - by us of them and by them of their childhoods. The realization that
you won't be quite as close to them anymore is a wistful feeling that is almost
an ache. There is a little pain and a lot of angst knowing and accepting that
you won't be right beside them any longer - to catch them if they fall. You can
only trust now that you taught them to stand strong and to stand up again if
they get knocked down.
To keep standing up.
We all get knocked down at
times and rising is more noble than falling.
It is more difficult too.
These letting goes are both
sad and happy.
It is both winning and
losing.
These feelings will
ultimately neutralize each other and then you are just left with Hope.
Hope that they
can make their own way out there and that everything will be all right.
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