Bonjour.
Ca va?
Est-ce que vous
êtes ivre?
I write this only
because I have a meter thing attached to the blog that tells me where people
are.
When they read
what I write.
I clicked on it earlier
and there was a world map showing me who was reading what and where.
- At that very
moment.
Fancy that.
The location was
just the country and not the actual address or anything although I am pretty sure
that Google could do that if they wanted to. I am certain they can actually and
understand they probably do - for governments.
Fuckers.
It also tells me
on what type of device I am being read.
There seem to be
a surprising amount of people in France reading me - on Android devices.
I am surprised
anyway.
There were more
French than English and American people combined reading me when I last looked.
On IPhones and on Androids. This surprises me too for I often tease and mock them.
- Particularly the
English.
I work with many English
and some Americans and I work for a British Company. I am often surrounded by
the English day in and day out so it is fortunate that I enjoy mocking the
English. It is nevertheless my national responsibility anyway. The Americans bring it
upon themselves.
They have no one
else to blame.
A friend reminded
me earlier that I once wrote that I wrote because I liked to be read. I told her this is
true.
Of course it is.
It is why any writer ultimately writes.
To be read.
I shall not
reveal the name of my friend here to protect her privacy. My code name for her
will however be Myoki-san.
- If I happen to
mention her again.
To confuse
matters further there is an actual Myoki San who has no code name.
Anyway I am most grateful
to be read by the French or indeed by any other citizen of the world.
I have a French
colleague who is a good friend and I like French food and French wine. The French
countryside is very beautiful. I like French medieval villages with their French
medieval buildings and I like outdoor cafes. French coffee is good and I very
much like the accents of the French when they speak English.
I like this moreso
when spoken by French women than by men.
I just do.
As an Australian I
accept our New Zealand neighbours as our intellectually disabled and very
distant cousins however they are still family - therefore we still have not
forgiven the French Secret Service for blowing up the Greenpeace Boat.
- The Rainbow
Warrior.
We didn’t like
that shit at all.
The whole world
didn’t.
We haven’t forgotten
nor will the French be forgiven for that.
I like many
French painters and a couple of French writers. I like Monet and Cezaune and
Gauguin and I like all of the museums of Paris. My favourite French writers are
Sartre and Le Clezio. I like the dusty old bookshops and antique stores in the
narrow cobbled streets of the Left Bank.
I like the palaces
of Versailles.
I very much like the
little village markets where local beautiful French garden produce is displayed
and sold.
I like baguettes
and escargot and I like good champagne.
I like pate and
croissants and I like fromage.
I like fromage a
lot.
My favourites are
Camembert and Roquefort.
Stinky cheeses.
I like that the
French Government and French Industry are embracing Green and Renewable Energy.
I don’t however like their long and somewhat shady history into nuclear power
and weaponry. The French government’s program of testing of nuclear weapons of
mass destruction on tiny pacific islands appalled many Australians.
I was one of
them.
It was in our own
backyard
Moruroa was one
of the Islands. The French called it an atoll. It no longer exists.
The French blew
it away.
We despise the
contamination the French left behind.
I liked Jacques
Cousteau and when I was a little boy I thought that the French Foreign Legion
were pretty cool and tough guys.
I like Christian
Dior, I like Pierre Cardin and Yves Saint Laurent and I like Coco Chanel.
I don’t mind
Canadians.
I liked the movie
the French Connection – both the original and the remake.
I like French
toast. I like French fingernail painting.
I like French
Kissing.
I am not
particularly fond of French poodles or the Tour de France or berets.
The bidet is an
abomination.
I like French
architecture – both ancient and modern and I like the Louvre. I like French
Chateaus. I like the French Alps. I like the beaches of Southern France and the
coast around Nice – I like all of the French Rivera.
Nice is nice.
I like Bridget
Bardot and Sophie Marceau but I am not particularly a fan of Gerard Depardieu.
I have liked some French movies.
I don’t
particularly like sub titles though.
I don’t mind French
polishing but I prefer furniture made of old woods where you can see the grain.
I like the swirly beautiful patterns contained in wood and I like that each
circle in the wood of a tree is a year of time.
I like trees too.
Big ones.
I like French
dressing – both the salad and the clothing type. I like the word chic. I like
French passion and I don’t really mind their arrogance.
It is come ci
come sa.
I also quite like
that there are French people reading what I am writing out there.
So merci beaucoup
A plus tard.
A bientot.
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